The Loner : Part 2.

lonely“What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?”

She was stunned to hear those words, just the same as I, when I heard those from that person, who brought me out of the darkness of solitude, to the brightness of fraternization – my best friend. Somewhere deep down inside, I knew these words had hit her hard, and that she was finally hoping to come out of her shell and make a… friend. My gut feeling said that this girl was full of stories to tell, the story… of a loner. I listened patiently as she started to narrate the story, after she became a little bit comfortable with me around which took a few days.

She said : ‘I was a normal kid until the age of 6. Normal is merely a word to define what is expected or typical. I don’t know what you mean by “normal” in my situation, but it is most definitely NOT what I am now. Now, I’m thirteen and completely changed. I thought for the initial years that I could survive without friends. While everyone was busy discussing their favorite episodes of ‘Dora The Explorer’, I would hide behind fat novels to avoid anyone from asking me about mine. While everyone was busy drawing their favorite Pokemons, I would draw myself, all alone on a lonely island. While everyone was busy planning their next sleepovers and birthday parties, I would just wonder about simply falling asleep in bed, all alone, to embrace the darkness of solitude. Believe it or not, I liked being alone then. It was just me. Only me. No one else, who would ever give me a reason to cry over, or anyone who would betray my trust. However, things took a bad turn after I turned 9.’

‘Everyone began to change. Everything began to change. And not for the better. Bullying, teasing and groupism got the best of me. I would have given anything and everything to  get a friend. Someone I could talk to. ANYONE! But, all in vain. They already had an impression about me. Every time I passed by, they used to say – ‘Look! There goes that weird loner! If you go near her, you’re gonna get the Cooties!’ That is what the rest of my life has pretty much been. At this point of time, I was not a loner by choice, not someone who loved the solitude. I was one who had tried to blend in with people before, but neither did they give me heed, nor did they treat me any good. I was a loner by fate.’

‘You may ask why did I ever become someone like this? Well, call it fate or destiny, but it all happened when my 18 year old brother, who was the closest person to me in this whole, wide world, had died. He died due to an accident where his drunk friend was driving and crashed into a passing truck. The Post Mortem report said it was due to a severe brain injury and excessive blood loss; I say it was due to the wrong company. Had he not been with the wrong people at the wrong time, he would have still been here, and would say – “Come on, Lisa, let’s go out and watch the night sky and the shimmering stars!” Heck, he just became one! They say people who die become stars, who always watch over you from up above, so the reason I was eager to go off to bed soon was because I could see my brother, smiling at me from up above. I talked to him every night, in thin air, until I couldn’t see him anymore because the damned smog covered every last remain of his. Which is when, everything changed.’

Saying this, she burst into a humorless laughter with tears in her eyes. I could feel her sadness. I could feel her story. This is the power of friendship. You know what is going through the other one’s mind and heart. You know they’ll be there no matter what. This is exactly what Lisa King needed, and I was ready to give her that. It was the least I could do for someone as hurt as she was. She added : “Sometimes, things change so quickly that even before you have time to react to it, someone else does it for you. My mother has since been sending me to therapy, thinking that it will help me, but why don’t they understand that -”

“You need a friend”, I interrupted, yet completing her sentence.

“Yes… a – a friend. Sounds like such a new word to me,” said she.

This was the start of a beautiful friendship.

A friendship which made such a positive impact on Lisa. She was no longer the girl who would sit by the window all day long. She was the one who would enthusiastically invite the ones by their windows to come and join all of us. She was no longer the girl who had to hide behind fat novels. She was the one who would initiate discussions about the new episodes of “F.R.I.E.N.D.S“, the new favorite series of the gang. She was no longer the girl who would wait for the night to embrace the solitude in darkness, she was the one who would seize the brightness.

She was no the old Loner Lisa, she was a Lisa King who would have had brought pride to her brother up above. She is my best friend, Lisa King.

rachmon

She is my best friend, Lisa King.

PS: This is dedicated to all my best friends, who have made me feel like the luckiest person to have had such a wonderful bunch of friends. I wanna say… THANK YOU. Thank you for being there.

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The Loner : Part 1.

loner

 

While most of us, including myself, were busy playing hide and seek in the park, I couldn’t help but notice her, again, staring at all of us.

There she was, probably the same age as myself, sitting all alone by the window, her knees folded and her arms holding it tightly together. Her hair was neatly combed into a ponytail, but her eyes looked… sad. Unhappy. Frustrated. Nobody knew who she was. Rather, nobody wished to. They said her parents were the nicest people in the neighborhood, and yet no one seemed to understand why she wouldn’t socialize.

And just like everyday, at exactly five in the evening, her mother would take her away, forcefully – as it seemed. Nobody would see her again until the next afternoon. As baffled as I was, I thought it best to keep playing and ignore that girl. However, it seemed almost next to impossible. This was probably because I had been in her place once? It all seemed to come back to me.

I used to sit by the window, too, simply glaring at the kids frolicking around, when I guess I was eight. I was a loner, as they say it. A Loner is defined as one who “prefers” not to associate with others. The “prefers” over there makes a huge impact on its meaning as a whole. It means you are one by choice. Somewhere deep down inside, in this case, we have insecurities. Insecurities regarding opening up to people, and basically having problems trusting people. It is usually a result of being cheated or emotionally broken in the past, or watching it happen to someone close. However, for me, I was shy. But that was until I found my best friend, who told me that insecurities are a hindrance to happiness. Every word was true, and the meaning was deep and made sense when I thought about it.

When I went back home the same day, I couldn’t stop thinking about the girl’s condition, and as they say, curiosity killed the cat. The very next day, I went over to her place, and her parents welcomed me in warmly. They led me into her room and by the look on their faces, it was obvious that they were puzzled as to how I was even reaching out to their daughter.

She was taken aback when I greeted her with a ‘hello’ and was definitely uncomfortable. However, I looked around and said –

“What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?”

To be continued …

Some Reasons You Should Read My Blog.

heart

Hi, there.

Given that I have a lot of time and very few things to do (which is the exact opposite while I’m preparing for my exams), I decided to start blogging. And, also given that I am completely disorganized, carefree and a renowned procrastinator, I considered writing about generalized things. Now don’t be surprised if you read a guide to the perfect vacation to Mars over here, someday. I warned you.

No cliche topics, I’ll just  be writing about probably incidents, short stories, or just random thoughts. Some articles might make you relate, while some might just simply keep you engrossed. Well, I’m no Dan Brown or Rick Riordan, but I can try my best to not bore you.

Well, also, the reason YOU are reading this is because you are equally as jobless and bored as I am, so what say? Let’s give each other some company for a while?

 

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